Hamburger Mary's

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Vanessa!


the patty 5.9
the bun 7.5
the fixin's 7.6
the sides 7.8
total package 6.8

accessibility 7.4
the service 8.2
cleanliness 7.1
the price 6.1
"it" factor 5.5

TOTAL 72



CIRQUE TEAM
Hamburger Mary's (Map It!) is the burger place with an identity crisis. From Hamburger Mary's to Universal Grille and back again, hopefully the new (old) name and renovated interior are here to stay. As a recognizable spot to hang out with a diverse group of friends, Hamburger Mary's hits a home run. As a burger joint, it strikes out. Mostly, the burger is overpriced. You'll pay well over ten bucks for an average burger and decent sides (the onion rings were great). Also, request your burger to be cooked less well done than you prefer. Those who ordered medium rare were served medium well, and those who ordered medium well were served a burnt piece of meat. The service was great and the atmosphere is fun (especially once renovations are complete this Fall), but the overpriced burger probably isn't worth a visit.

BRAD
What’s the expression that horrible VP candidate used in the election? Something about a bulldog being a bulldog even with lipstick? I think that works for Hamburger Mary’s. They throw a bunch of super good fixins on their mediocre burger, slap in a killer bun, and it’s still….just mediocre. If you like decoupage, you’ll love this place. The tables are shellacked with it.

LEAH
I often go downtown for business lunches, and there's no good place to grab a quick lunch in that area, but Hamburger Mary’s is by far the best possible option.

STEVE
One of my least favorite burgers on the tour. My patty was burnt, and the toppings couldn't hide the charred flavor. The burger was sloppy and way overpriced. Any place that charges over ten bucks for a burger needs to get over themselves, especially when they serve slop.

EMILY
Hamburger Mary’s burger was good but not amazing. Mary’s is a nice (re)addition to downtown, and I’m glad it's back. While the burger doesn’t stack up next to a lot of our other tour stops, I would recommend it if you happen to be downtown and catch a sudden case of burger fever. The afternoon drink prices were great, and my mimosa was delicious. Welcome back Mary!

JASON
I used to frequent Mary’s back before it closed. I remember loving the burgers and onion rings. The onion rings are still really good, but my burger was pretty weak this time around. They claim that the patty had never been frozen, but I’m not convinced. I ordered mine medium-rare, and it came out well done. I was excited about the drink prices listed on the sign out on the sidewalk ($3 bloodies, $2 mimosas), but I was quickly disappointed. The mimosas were strong and decent, but my bloody was possibly the worst I’ve ever had. It had way too much, way too cheap vodka in it. Oh yeah, and I was being swarmed with fruit flies the entire time I was eating. On a positive note, our waitress was super nice and did a great job of explaining the menu. I think Mary’s is great for downtown, and I’m glad its back. Maybe I just ordered the wrong kind of meat.

Habits Cafe

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Theo!


the patty 7.6
the bun 6.3
the fixin's 8.3
the sides 7.8
total package 7.5

accessibility 9.5
the service 8.8
cleanliness 8.4
the price 7.9
"it" factor 7.7

TOTAL 81



CIRQUE TEAM
(This week's post is dedicated to our number one fan, CJ.) Habits Cafe is located in the heart of Oakley (Map It!) and offers a nice variety of gourmet burgers. Overall, the experience didn't wow us, but if you prefer your burgers with a spicy kick - Pepper Jack cheese, spicy onion straws, jalapeno mayo - Habits is the place for you. The selection of fries was nice, but if you're looking for their best side, try the potato rags appetizer. It's a real crowd-pleaser. The price seemed a little high for what you get, but the restaurant had a nice vibe and the service was friendly. Definitely worth a stop for any burger lover.

BRAD
If I had the metabolism of an 8th grader I'd come here and get the potato rags every weekend. Best appetizer in Cincinnati. Habits is one my favorite joints in the city for a bite. Always good food, good vibe and in a good part of town. Good to the third power. They should pay me for that tagline. They'd end up getting their money back on account of my p-rags addiction. Get the Godzilla burger. It's literally the hotness.

JASON
Habits is a pretty cool place, but I wasn’t crazy about the food. I had the Godzilla Burger, with Pepper Jack, spicy onion straws and jalapeno mayo. The toppings were flavorful, but the patty was not. My onion rings were watery and gross, and my bun was stale. I do love their house specialty Potato Rags appetizer. It’s a hash brown and veggie concoction that is pretty tough to beat. I think Habits is a sweet bar, and the burger would be tasty after a few beers. Its just not anything near what I would consider the best burger in the ‘Nati.

EMILY
I like the feel of Habits. I can't really describe why, but it is what I picture a pub in England would be like. I'd say my burger was a little bland (I had the Euro burger). Others said theirs were delish, so I would try another next time. As for sides you must get the potato rags and sweet potato fries! They were amazing!

LIZ
Habits Cafe is a great place to relax and watch the proverbial "game." I don't know that it's the place to get THE burger. The burger was good, but not great. Habits had a tremendous amount of options as far as toppings and styles of burgers. In a similar fashion, there was a nice choice of "styles" of fries; but, at the end of the meal, I wasn't overly impressed. I think next time I'll check out something else on the menu other than the burger.

STEVE
Overall, I was satisfied. At this point in the tour, I base my score mostly on how likely I would be to return to a place. Habits - probably not, but that doesn't mean it was a bad burger. Just not the best.

CHAD
Habits is a pretty good place to hang out and get some grub. The burger won't blow your mind, but was definitely solid.

NICOLE
I decided to get the Ostrich burger and I loved it. Habits has a great variety of burgers no matter what your taste is from "heart attack on a plate" to "lean machine."

JANA
Habits is a great neighborhood joint. I really liked the burger there (I got the Cajun - Black Hole style) and it was awesome. But, I couldn't remember what I got a week later, so I feel like it wasn't the best burger in the world. The potato rags are what you need to go to Habits for...freaking incredible.

LEAH
Habits is one of my favorite local joints. The food is consistently good, and the atmosphere is fun and casual. The burgers are really tasty and affordable.

ALLIE
Habits was good, otherwise I don't have much to say. I loved my first experience with the potato rags, definitely a MUST have and the Bloody Mary was nice and spicy. I had the Godzilla burger, the name is more impressive than the burger actually was and unfortunately the bun seemed stale. Habits is a great place for some potato rags, a few rounds of after work drinks and a game of pool.

Quatman Cafe

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Vanessa!


the patty 8.3
the bun 6.8
the fixin's 5.3
the sides 5.8
total package 7.8

accessibility 9.0
the service 7.9
cleanliness 8.1
the price 9.3
"it" factor 8.4

TOTAL 78



CIRQUE TEAM
Quatman Cafe (Map It!) is a well-known Cincinnati burger establishment. Start a conversation about burgers with anyone in the Queen City and Quatman will surely be mentioned. Without a doubt, the restaurant is cozy and friendly. It feels like you're hanging out with a room full of old friends. But the burger is just average. The patty itself was tasty, but bland french fries and a limited choice of fixin's dropped the score considerably. For a great price (about six bucks gets you a burger and fries), you get plenty of food to fill you up. Quatman Cafe is worth a visit, but keep your expectations reasonable. The best burger in Cincinntati probably lives somewhere else.

JANA
Here's the thing. I really didn't want Quatman to be good because of the hype...I like it when I find the diamond in the rough! But, it wasn't too shabby. It definitely wasn't the best burger I've ever had, but it was good. The patty had a good flavor, and the price is hard to beat. I'm a fan of more than pickles and an onion on a burger, but the simplicity of that combo is part of what makes Quatman a place that people come back to. Everyone is a friend.

NICOLE
I thought that the burger was awesome. I knocked off some points because of the lack of topping options, but since I like a plain cheeseburger it was good for me. Anyone who likes to load up their burgers with extra stuff, this may not be the burger for you.

CHAD
Quatman Cafe has a real throwback feeling to it. The burger was definitely good, but not the best. Between the well priced food and welcoming atmosphere, I'd say that generations of Norwoodians have had many a good time here. Also, any place that runs on the honor system is cool with me.

JASON
Simplicity is king at Quatman Cafe. No menus, no fruity drinks, no BS (and, unfortunately, no tomatoes or lettuce). You simply look at the options conveniently posted on the wall behind the bar and place your order. The daily special is one of about five sandwiches, fries and a drink. No matter if your drink is a diet coke or an ice cold Hudy Delight draft, they can make it happen. The place is packed with locals, probably because the service is friendly and the price is right (my bill was about $13 for a burger, fries and a pitcher of Hudy). The patty was big and full of flavor, the fries were pretty boring and the bun was just a bun. While I’m not in love with the burger at Quatman, the place is sweet and I will be going back.

BRAD
This Norwood legend is worth going to for numerous reasons. 1. Ice cold Hudy Delight on tap. 2. You can eat picnic food without having to eat outside in some random park with strangers eyeing your food. 3. You live in Norwood and you're out of JTMs. I liked (not loved) this joint. It kind of reminds me of my hometown. Good, honest burgers your mom would pack and your dad would grill.

LIZ
In a word, Quatman is cozy. The burger tastes exactly like what you'd imagine the perfect backyard burger to taste like - juicy, flavorful, and well-cooked. I opted out of the fries (and it seems that was a smart choice). There's a very comfy, homey feel here - right down to the little glass with ice they serve your soda pop with. I don't know if it lived up to some of the hype, but it was awfully tasty, and with my dentist right next door, it's the perfect post-cavity filling joint!

STEVE
Honestly, not to be offensive, but I don't get the hype. Quatman has a pretty cool atmosphere. The patty is juicy and good. But other than that, it's an average burger with average fries. The only options to top the burger were pickles and onions. Not a huge fan of either. I've had worse burgers, but I've also had much better.

Five Guys Burgers and Fries

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Theo!


the patty 8.2
the bun 8.2
the fixin's 9.2
the sides 9.3
total package 8.6

accessibility 8.4
the service 7.8
cleanliness 8.4
the price 8.4
"it" factor 7.9

TOTAL 86



CIRQUE TEAM
Five Guys is definitely not your typical chain burger joint. The meat is fresh, not frozen. The fries are cut daily in the restaurant. And the free peanuts add to the great ambiance. Cincinnati is lucky to finally get one of these very popular establishments. Located near the University of Cincinnati (Map It!), hungry college students will likely swarm the place before and after class. Beware, the regular burger is actually a double, and the portion of fries is insane. A large order is enough to feed a basketball team. The menu is simple, but delicious. Definitely worth a stop.

JANA
I LOVE Five Guys. I was shaking with excitement when I realized that they were coming to Clifton AND there is rumor that they are coming to other places in Cincy soon (Kenwood and West Chester)! I think they are the best "fast food" burger out there. The patty is well done (which I would never order personally) but I think it is what makes it great and all juicy. The toppings are fresh and mix together perfectly. The portions are huge (which is awesome) and you will literally be stuffed all day. Cajun, fresh cut fries, are the way to go. I would go to Five Guys every day if it wouldn't mean I would end up in Supersize Me 2.

BRAD
I imagine it went down like this for this Washington D.C. establishment. Guy 1 worked for Jimmy Carter. But not in politics, peanuts. Guy 2 had a cow that local high schools used for that raffle where you pick a plot and wherever said cow craps you win cash. Guy 3 really bought into McCarthyism and was scared to death of pinko commis. So he had a bomb shelter full of potatoes and ketchup. Guys 4 and 5 were brothers and record collectors. They dreamed of spinning wax on AM radio. So, one day, these 5 guys ran into each other in front of the Washington Monument protesting something or other. They get to talking about dreams and skills and boom, the rest is history. Good burgers, fries, peanuts and tunes. Worth a trip down to Clifton.

JUSTIN
I'm struggling with how to classify Five Guys. To lump it in with Wendy's or McDonald's would be a travesty. It is definitely not a run-of-the-mill fast food joint. I would also hesitate to put it in the same class as Terry's or Zip's. It's somewhere in the middle. The menu is simple, but thankfully you still have a lot of topping choices. The patty is cooked to well done, and draped in American cheese. The fresh jalapeno adds kick like a slapped donkey. The cajun fries would have Paul Prudhomme speaking in tongues. I would recommend Five Guys to anyone looking for a quick and delicious burger without the frills. Judging by their growth, you should have one in your neck of the woods soon. Hit it up...cajun fries and double jalapeno cheeseburger.

LEAH
For a fast foodish burger, I'm quite certain it doesn't get better than Five Guys. Downside- no Bloody Marys. Upside- incredible music, really good food, and plenty of seating to fit large parties. I'll be heading back for sure.

STEVE
For the first time on tour, less than a week after I ate a burger, I was craving it again. I'm not saying it's the best burger in Cincinnati, because it's not. But the burger and fries combined were quite and experience, all for a pretty reasonable price (considering the portions). Thank God it's located right next to UC's campus. I'll be back for more in the Fall.

NICOLE
The "little" burger I got was not little at all and it was ridiculously good. Pair it with the generously portioned and amazingly tasty fresh cut fries and you'll be full for days! Besides the cold and corporate decor, I really enjoyed Five Guys!

CHAD
I once went to Five Guys in DC when I was a kid, and was left a lingering memory of a massive and flavorful burger that was before its time. Much like an episode from my youth when I got my hands on a bottle of Patron, as a young burger lover I really had no idea how to appreciate the experience. So when I heard that Five Guys was coming to Cincinnati, it was a given that we would make it a stop on the tour. This time I tackled Five Guys with an empty stomach and a mature palette. It was awesome. Think Penn Station, but with Burgers (and the fries are way better). Some may want to jump on the bandwagon based solely on the numerous awards and articles hanging on the walls, but if you're a true burger lover you owe it to yourself to beat a path to Five Guys and give them a go. My only gripe is that they are a chain. I don't like chains. I like locally or family owned places with history and style. For this burger, I'll make an exception and condone a chain restaurant.

EMILY
Five Guys has the perfect fries! I loved my fixings, lots of bacon on the bottom, two perfect tomato slices. Definitely a solid burger and they should sell their soundtrack... they were killin it!

LIZ
Five Guys is definitely a "guys'" place. The portions are huge. A large serving of fries actually comes in a huge paper bag! But, the food does not disappoint. They do one thing - burgers - and they do it very well. It was delicious and I really enjoyed eating peanuts while I waited! (It didn't hurt that Steve and I were enjoying these tasty burgers while vacationing in the Outer Banks.)

JASON
Somebody wrote on the comment board in the back of the Clifton Five Guys, “These burgers are aggressive!” I couldn’t agree more. I felt like, at any second, the grease dripping out of the back of my burger was going to turn in to a little fist and upper cut me in the neck. The burger was great, but the double was a little much. I’ll do the “little” next time (it’s a single compared to the standard double). The fries were my favorite of the tour. What does Five Guys and Joe Biden have in common? If they're good enough for Barack, they're good enough for me.

Cirque Special: The Singing Dog Cafe

CIRQUE TEAM
This week, the Cirque Team took a break from our normal routine to visit the home of Michael Pickett, a renowned Cincinnati chef. Michael was kind enough to invite us into his backyard to sample one of the best burgers Cincinnati has to offer. Unfortunately for all of you, it's not on any menu. Fortunately for us, the meal didn't stop with the burgers. Adult beverages, amazing side dishes, and chocolate-covered strawberries for dessert - we were in Heaven. And just when we thought things couldn't get any better, Michael's dog, Nora, sang for us. Not kidding. Watch the video. We decided not to score Michael's burger since our readers can't partake, but we are officially giving The Singing Dog Cafe an Honorary Olivia for their outstanding burger! (Yes, that is the trophy we gave Michael.) Thanks, Michael and Nora, for a wonderful Sunday afternoon!



BRAD
I have a new master plan/dream. Chef Michael Pickett combines powers with Sous Chef/marketing genius Leah Wise and together they open up a new lil' spot in Reading, Ohio. Spending a sunny afternoon in Michael's oasis-like backyard is a magical experience not unlike stepping thru the wardrobe and into Narnia. Throw in amazing side dishes sprinkled with pounds of the thickest bacon ever, sweet and savory cocktails, good friends, and Nora the singing dog.... I could've died a happy, lucky man that day. And that was before he pulled out the crab cake burgers and chocolate-covered strawberries.



LIZ
Michael has perfected the backyard burger. Only Michael's adorable, singing dog outshined his delicious, juicy, and flavorful burger. The side dishes, including potato salad and warm cole slaw, added to the casual, relaxing ambiance. But, the champagne cocktail and chocolate-covered strawberry dessert added a touch of sophistication that surely makes his cozy backyard the envy of his neighbors.



JANA
I love Michael. I love anything he cooks. It was one of the most incredible eating experiences I have ever had. Ever.

JUSTIN
If you told me I would have one of the best eating experiences of my life in Reading, Ohio, I probably would have called you a moron. My apologies. Holy smokes...what an experience. We started the adventure with DIY Bloodys and some fruity concoction that basically floored two of our members. Meanwhile Michael was popping in and out, spinning some great beats in the clubhouse while orchestrating what can only be described as baconlightenment. Hot slaw, a Bacon cheeseburger, and a Crab cake burger topped with moonbeam-nectar sauce (I made that name up) were on the plate. Thank you Michael. If you need anything done around the compound, let me know. I accept payment of slab bacon and moonbeam-nectar.



CHRIS
This week's stop was my new friend Michael's house. I will never be the same. He proceeded to get me tipsy right out of the gate with some berry Champagne goodness. From there he took my taste buds where they've never gone before. His burgers and sides were unbeatable. If this was a regular burger stop, we would officially be done. There isn't a better burger out there. I'm convinced. Thank you, Michael. Thank you for changing my burger view.



STEVE
You had me at Peach Schnapps Champagne with floating berries (which I now call Cirquepagne). Follow that up with a delicious burger, amazing sides, and chocolate-covered strawberries, and yippee ki-yi-yay, mofo, it was a helluva day!



LEAH
I'm sad for all citizens of Cincinnati that don't know Michael Pickett. That means that you probably haven't been invited to his house for the most amazing food the city has to offer. Michael, a classically trained chef, has figured out how to make regular everyday dishes the most delectable treats to hit your mouth. I think he has the best burger in the city, and maybe... just maybe... if we beg him, he'll think about opening a restaurant so that everyone can experience them.



ALLIE
The food was fantastic. The company was even better. Michael's backyard is a virtual Eden with everything you want at your beck and call, including Grand Marnier. Loved the herb test. Can't wait to be invited back again!

Ms. Helen's Grille @ Findlay Market

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Vanessa!


the patty 3.9
the bun 5.4
the fixin's 5.7
the sides 6.8
total package 5.0

accessibility 5.7
the service 8.9
cleanliness 7.4
the price 8.1
"it" factor 7.0

TOTAL 72



CIRQUE TEAM
Findlay Market (Map It!) is one of the coolest attractions Cincinnati has to offer. If you have never been, go immediately. Ms. Helen's Grille has been a fixture of Findlay Market for years, and she supplies the Queen City with amazing soul food - ribs, collard greens, cornbread, etc. The Cirque Team thought it would be fun to spend an afternoon at Findlay Market, and we were right. As far as burgers go, Ms. Helen's Grille is a nice place to stop if you are buying meats and produce and need a quick snack. The fries were pretty good and it was a very inexpensive meal (six bucks for a double cheeseburger, fries, and a drink!), but she would never claim to serve the best burger in Cincinnati. It definitely wasn't, but we knew that going in. Findlay Market has something for everyone, so don't let the Vanessa score scare you away.

CHAD
Findlay Market is a pretty cool place and we took a chance on the burger hoping to be rewarded for our open mindedness. We were not. I'm not going to go into the many reasons that the burger was less than ok, but I will say that it was still a fun experience. Honestly the place was just a booth in the market, and based on the crowd and wait time I really thought it was going to be good. Looking for the best burger in town? Keep on moving.

BRAD
I give this burger the honorary title of "The Dolorean." Biting into that grey patty instantly took me back in time to the front porch of my college house sophomore year. We used sit out there with our cheap beer and tiny Coleman Grill cooking equally grey, beef-like burgers. For three bucks I got a huge bite of nostalgia on Sunday. If Cirque goes on a rib tour we're heading back to Ms. Helen's. They looked money.

JANA
Love sitting in the Beer Garden...Love hanging out with friends....Love Ms. Helen. Do not love the burgers that Ms. Helen produces. This burger may obtain the most feared Cousin Pam rating.

LEAH
Findlay Market is one of my favorite places in the city. There are incredible vendors (the cheese man is a must!), and there are some really great places to eat. Ms. Helen's was not one of them. I found the burger inedible - after three bites it was in the trash. However, Liz and I stopped down at Angelina Fine Italian Foods for perhaps the best Italian hot panini of my life. That is the beauty of Findlay Market - there is something for everyone.

LIZ
The only good thing about Ms. Helen's is that it was cheap so I didn't feel so bad replacing it with a delicious Italian panini from Angelina's Fine Italian Foods. Now THAT sandwich was something to write about.

NICOLE
If we ever do a soul food tour then this is the only time that I might stop back at Ms. Helen's. Besides that I'll check out some of the other awesome places Findley Market has to offer.

STEVE
If someone would have served this meal during a picnic, people would have raved. I think our expectations are so high that we are distorting the scores when they don't live up to the hype. Findlay Market is great. Ms. Helen is a Cincinnati tradition. It is a sad day when Cirque gives her a Vanessa.

City View Tavern

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Theo!


the patty 7.8
the bun 8.3
the fixin's 7.8
the sides 6.6
total package 7.7

accessibility 8.5
the service 8.0
cleanliness 8.4
the price 8.5
"it" factor 8.6

TOTAL 82



CIRQUE TEAM
City View Tavern (Map It!) is tucked away in Mt. Adams, but offers one of the best views of downtown Cincinnati. Street parking can be difficult during busy hours, but the residential street doesn't get much traffic. City View Tavern claims a great burger and better Bloody Mary, and they didn't disappoint with either. They serve a simple burger (lettuce, tomato, pickle), but its thick patty makes the 6+ dollar price tag worth it. One noticeable flaw is the lack of sides. No fries or onion rings. To be fair, they did serve a free bag of Grippo's potato chips (which are some of the best chips Cincinnati has to offer), but a small bag of chips can't compete with fresh-cut fries or beer-battered onion rings. Overall, the meat was slightly bland, but sitting on City View Tavern's patio eating a burger isn't a bad way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

BRAD
The burgers won't change your life but they're definitely solid. The view is solid GOLD. It'll be my new place to suggest whenever we can't decide where to go for a bite/drink. The Bloody Mary is fantastic. There's a buried treasure (dare I say booty) in it. Wear your eye patch. Actually don't. You know...cuz of the view.

STEVE
If a friend invited me over to his place, fired up the grill, served me the burger from City View Tavern, and added some Grippo's Barbecue Chips, I would have been impressed. It was a good back-yard burger, but I expect something more from our tour stops. I love their patio and the view of downtown Cincinnati is amazing, but the burger was just average.

JASON
If there were such thing as the “Huxta-View” scoring system, I’m sure that City View would be a mid-to-high Rudy. A Huxta-Bloody system would probably rank this place about the same (my favorite bloody of the tour). The burger, on the other hand, was good, but I didn’t feel inclined to scream it from the balcony. Fresh toppings, good bun, good patty. I’m not a big fan of Mt. Adams, but City View has the view without the vibe. I’m looking forward to going back with my friends for some coldies on the balcony this summer. I had a great time at City View.

EMILY
So the view did not disappoint, but I must say that I love to have greasy fries/onion rings with my burger! A bag of chips, while delicious, doesn’t quite hit the spot. I loved the fixins on my burger - all the mayo/mustard/lettuce … delicious. The burger was fresh and to the point and definitely not a disappointment!

JANA
City View was the perfect place to go on a sunny, lazy, Sunday afternoon. I loved sitting on the balcony and taking in the skyline of Cincinnati. The burger was incredible - the toppings were limited, but what City View lacks in quantity, they make up for in quality. There wasn't a selection of many sides, but again, the fact that there was Grippo's BBQ chips, definitely made it amazing. Don't miss the burger OR the view at City View!

LIZ
All in all, City View Tavern makes a good burger, but the view off the deck beats anything you'll taste there. I got the Teddy Burger, which is basically the Deluxe without cheese and a tomato. The best part of the burger experience for me had nothing to do with the burger - they have BBQ Grippo's as the side. YUM. City View Tavern is definitely nothing fancy, but the experience of eating a juicy burger, munching on Grippo's while sitting in a hidden spot in Mt. Adams with a spectacular view is unmatched.

JUSTIN
Few places in the Queen city have as breathtaking a view as the City View Tavern. The view and incredible weather we shared with our neighbors (who were just a few feet away sunning and grilling) were equally stunning. The menu is simple, just like the burgers. Not many choices, but a damn fine slab of ground beef. Although the burgers were good they were second fiddle to the best Bloody Mary since Terry's Turf Club. The spiced rim, perfect seasoning, and pickled string bean would have Brian Flanagan spouting poetry on top of the bar.

NICOLE
City View has an amazing view of downtown and the river and a pretty good burger too. I would recommend this place for the view and cozy feel rather than the burger. At this point in the tour I am really looking for that WOW factor; City View fell a little short.

LEAH
City View makes a straight forward burger with very little frills; however, it was well-prepared and quite tasty! The owner of City View was the only person working (serving, cooking, bartending, and cleaning), and the service was still very good. And, of course, the view of the river and downtown Cincinnati cannot be beat.

CHAD
Wow, what a view. The Bloody Mary was excellently creative, and the jukebox selection was interesting and fresh. The relaxing atmosphere begs (not insists, but begs) for lazy afternoons spent on the deck with friends and cocktails. The burger was served on a sesame seed bun (seeds on both sides of the bun was a welcome surprise) with fresh lettuce, tomato, and chips. However, the meat itself leaves much to be desired. Frankly, it was bland. Even with the mayo and spicy mustard, my taste buds were left unsatisfied. With the effort and attention that has been put into the Bloody Mary, the burger could be outstanding. I love the place, but will live out my days quite comfortably without the burger.

Zip's Cafe

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Rudy!


the patty 9.5
the bun 9.0
the fixin's 9.0
the sides 9.6
total package 9.3

accessibility 8.5
the service 9.6
cleanliness 8.8
the price 9.3
"it" factor 9.4

TOTAL 94



CIRQUE TEAM
Zip's Cafe (Map It!) blew the Cirque team away with an amazing burger, friendly staff, and relaxed atmosphere. Our highest score to date, Zip's is located in the heart of Mt. Lookout. Parking can be an issue, and during busy times, it may take a few minutes to be seated, but it's well worth the wait. The burgers are simple (lettuce, tomato, pickles), but the fresh meat is delicious. You simply must try the onion rings - the best we have tasted. Singles are fairly inexpensive, but if you make it a double or add a side, the price can jump to over ten dollars. Overall, Zip's Cafe is a must for any burger lover.

CHAD
Zip's is a burger legend, now we know why. They take a very simple no frills burger and make it into something spectacular. I think that it's all in the meat. The flavor is really outstanding, and after asking the waitress we learned that they bring it in fresh ground every morning from Avril-Behl (http://www.sausagespecialists.com/). Combined with a great family atmosphere, this burger shines!


JASON
Zip’s used to be my favorite burger joint, and it still is. HOLY SHIMOLY that place is good!!! Simple, clean and tasty, just like Mom used to try to make. Do yourself a favor and order some chili cheese onion rings. They’re not on the menu, but tell your waitress that you know she can do it. Oh yeah, a special shout out to our waitress, Layla. She got our orders perfect, and was a fountain of knowledge once she knew what we were up to. So far, Zip’s is my numero uno.

EMILY
Zip's is a place you can go where everybody knows your name! Ok, not really... but it feels like it. Service is awesome there; somebody by the name of Jana spilled her beer on me and Nicole, and within seconds our server was there to help. Love it! About the grub... it really just hits the spot - perfect size, patty is moist, bun is soft, veggies are crisp. The thing that tops it all off are their onion rings. Pure perfection!

ALLIE
The Zip's burger is delicious and simple in this hometown favorite spot. They don't have many choices when it comes to types of burgers, but what they do offer is pulled off perfectly. When you're offering quality meat you don't need to dress it up with spices or crazy toppings. It's satisfying in its simplicity. For all you burger purists out there, Zip's is a must stop for you!

BRAD
If Zip's were a blockbuster film it would be Point Break. So far, it's the best ever. Like Johnny Utah, the burger is simple but perfect. And like Brodie, it's so awesome it's criminal. I'm guessing the group will score this Cincinnati classic a Rudy. I'm giving it the extra title of the Brodie Utah. Congratulations, Zip's.

LIZ
Zip's is awesome. Love the location, love the burgers, love saratoga chips as a side dish, LOVE the train that winds around the top of the restaurant. The service was wonderful. The only thing lacking was the option of bacon on the burgers.

JANA
You can't go wrong at Zip's. Its busy all the time because it's so freaking good. Get a burger and the onion rings and you'll love life.

NICOLE
The thing I love about Zip's is that they don't try to dress it up with anything fancy. It's just a straight forward awesome burger!!!

LEAH
Zip's, the long-standing Cincinnati favorite burger joint, did not disappoint. The burger is simple and delicious, and the onion rings are amazing. My only complaint is that the dining area was extremely dark - it was hard to even read the menu. Overall, Zip's was a great stop on the burger tour.

CHRIS
Zip's was everything I expected and more. The place is pretty hyped around town and not just for the cute train that drives around the ceiling. The burgers were amazing. So simple, no fluff, yet amazing. Come to find out (from our server) that it all has to do with freshness.. Meat delivered straight from the butcher daily. I love Zip's and it quickly has jumped to the top of my list.

STEVE
Zip's had saloon doors leading to their bar. That's all you need to know. How can you hate a place with saloon doors? You can't. Oh, and the burger is really good. But, more importantly, the saloon doors.

Bard's Burgers

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Theo!


the patty 7.7
the bun 7.4
the fixin's 7.2
the sides 9.4
total package 8.0

accessibility 8.0
the service 8.8
cleanliness 6.6
the price 9.3
"it" factor 7.1

TOTAL 80



CIRQUE TEAM
Bard's Burgers (Map It!) is all about the Bardzilla. Ten thick patties, one pound of cheese, and the promise of a free t-shirt if you finish within an hour. Jason was brave enough to tackle the Bardzilla (as you can see above). The burger itself was pretty good, but most were slightly overcooked. For the price, it's a great deal (singles start under four dollars). We highly recommend the poutine - fresh-cut fries topped with fresh cheddar cheese and a thin gravy sauce. Probably the best side we have experienced yet. Definitely a charming burger joint with great service.

JASON
This place looks like someone bought a Dairy Whip from the 1960’s and filled it with greasy meat. I tried the Bardzilla and my stomach still hurts. I think I liked it, but I’m pretty sure I blacked out around patty #7. The fries were great, and the service was perfect. I’m never going back.

BRAD
Great patties and fantastic sides. Get the Ripper and say a lil' thank you prayer to God for creating a culinary philanthropist who thought to deep fry a hot dog and wrap it bacon. Nestled deep in urban Kentucky, this simple burger joint is worth the drive. Especially if you have a friend ferocious enough to tackle Bardzilla. Beware...you'll see lots of shirtless wildcats roaming the streets on your trip there. So...in many ways it's like going to the county fair.

JUSTIN
To say Bard's is a diamond in the rough would be an over-statement; more like a really nice piece of sea-glass in the rough. The Bardzilla is wonderful. Our own Nati meat mouth massacre took a stab at the gentle giant and lost in the final round. Commendable attempt, your cardiologist thanks you. My burger was slightly smaller but just as delectable. Throw in a side of the gravy/fresh cheddar fries and it was a fantastic experience deep (at least by my standards) in the blue-grass state. Check it out for yourself, grab a handful of Lipitor, and head down for a burger, poutine fries, and a deep-fried zinger.

LIZ
Bard's Burgers was just ok. The burger was a bit overdone and they put cheese on it when I said none. But it was a friendly place and the first restaurant to offer milkshakes! I gladly drank up a chocolate malt, which was absolutely delicious. I must say I kind of want to go back just to try the deep fried, bacon wrapped hot dog. Yum.

JANA
Bard's is great if you feel like making the haul out to Kentucky. The place was diner-esque and had all that you'd hope for in a greasy spoon...fried twinkies, bacon wrapped hot dogs, gravy on fries. The burger was great. Not the best I have ever had, but amazing considering the type of place. The fries were right on, with or without the gravy. And, you can't go wrong ending a meal with a DELISH chocolate shake.

CHAD
Bardzilla! Aside from the super huge burgers available (for $12 you could easily feed a family of five on a single Bardzilla) the menu items were creative and tasted great. To sum it up, imagine the very best carnival food that you've ever had, that's Bards. I really did enjoy the burger and deep fried twinkie, but I just don't think that my cardiologist would approve of me making Bard's a habit.

STEVE
The charm of Bard's is better than the burger itself. Pretty cool place, the Bardzilla is inspiring, and the service was good. Fries were amazing, but the meat was overcooked. People splurged with fried twinkies, bacon-wrapped hot dogs, and chocolate malts, but if you're looking for the best burger, this probably isn't it.

LEAH
Bard's was a treat. The burger was pretty good, but the fries and chocolate milkshake made the meal. It was a bit difficult to find, but if you're ever in Covington - it is a stop worth making!

Oakley Pub & Grill

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Rudy!


the patty 8.7
the bun 8.3
the fixin's 9.0
the sides 8.5
total package 9.0

accessibility 9.5
the service 9.6
cleanliness 8.6
the price 8.9
"it" factor 8.5

TOTAL 90



CIRQUE TEAM
Convenient location, quality meat, and amazing service all add up to an excellent burger experience at Oakley Pub & Grill (Map It!). Maybe not the best burger in the city (although it's pretty close), but the service was outstanding. The buns were toasted and the patty was thick, but what really stood out were the variety of fixin's to top the burger. Sides varied among team members, but we highly recommend the onion rings or coleslaw. Moderate prices and a relaxed atmosphere make Oakley Pub & Grill a must for all burger lovers.

JASON
I loved this place. My favorite burger of the tour so far, and possibly my favorite onion rings EVER. The vibe was sweet (except that Chris’ boy kept eyeballing me like he wanted to start somethin’) and the service couldn’t have been better. You’re dumb if you don’t go to Oakley Pub.

CHAD
The Oakley Pub is now one of my favorite places to go. Our experience there was so good that I had to go back on a busy Friday evening just to see if it was the same. I am happy to report that the food and service were just as good. The burgers are well thought out and equally well executed. The slaw is awesome too! I'm thinking Rudy.

JUSTIN
Few places are as comfortable as the Oakley Pub. You almost expect the crowd to exclaim "Norm!" as you walk in the door (providing someone in your group is named Norm or you happen to visit the pub with George Wendt in tow). It is just a feel good pub that delivers on the promise of a cold drink and solid meal. The burger was in the upper-echelon of beefy goodness. Not too big, not too small and cooked to perfection. Solid fries, stellar slaw, and Bloody Mary goodness topped off a great eating experience. For the record the service was extraordinary (not one mistake in the group of 13). Ted Danson has nothing on our bartender Jay!

CHRIS
Oakley Pub took me by surprise. It was like the Carrot Top of burgers. I didn't think I would like it as much as I did, but it was pretty freakin' good! I ordered the Zola Burger complete with capicola ham, bacon, mushroom, onion and American cheese. It was cooked exactly as ordered and was exceptionally tasty. And if you like coleslaw, I venture to say that you will not find better coleslaw anywhere. It's coleslaw with an Asian twist and was like a little cabbage heaven in my mouth. Side note. My six year old son joined us this week. He went with the straight cheeseburger (no frills) with fries. He says he loved his burger. He did comment that McDonald's still had better fries. Overall, he "loved" the experience (but I think that might have had something to do with his immediate crush on Allie).

NICOLE
Wow! Good Burgers!!

EMILY
The service was incredible! The famous Asian slaw was good! The burger was delicious! I will be going back!


BRAD
Their Asian-influenced coleslaw is a crouching-tiger, hidden-dragon cabbage treat. It's dangerously and sneakily delicious. I highly recommend this joint. Good food, good jukebox, good vibes.

LEAH
Oakley Pub has a great atmosphere, really fun and friendly service, and the burgers are delish! The portions are big, but not so much that you can't be a clean plater. It is a place every Cincinnatian should visit.

LIZ
I really enjoyed Oakley Pub. The bartenders are extremely friendly and attentive. And, more importantly, the burger was delicious! I chose the Soul Burger which had jerk spices, sauteed onions, bacon, and cheddar cheese. I asked for it without cheese, and it came without cheese! The burgers are big - I believe the menu says 1/2 lb. I highly recommend Oakley Pub - both for its tasty burgers and its relaxing atmosphere.

STEVE
The meat was pretty good. The bun was ok. But, somehow, the burger came together and worked really well. Other people have mentioned their specialty burgers, and I highly recommend the Memphis - the barbecue sauce and mayo combined for amazing flavor. The fries were average, but I tried an onion ring from someone else's plate and they are amazing. Normally service doesn't matter much to me, but Oakley Pub was the best we've had so far.

JANA
Everything about the Oakley Pub and its burgers is perfect or as close to perfection as you can get. I was stressed at the beginning of our time there because I couldn't decide which burger to go for! The Soul Burger did not do me wrong, and I will have to quickly go back to try the other burgers I wanted to try (The Memphis, The Black and Blue, The Zola...) The service was exceptional, Jay went out of his way to make sure we were taken care of. I will be ticked if this place is not ranked in Cirque's Top 3...It'll be hard to beat.

ALLIE
Great burger with interesting options! I had the Bayou burger, with jerk seasonings, grilled onion, and cheddar. The burger, paired with the Bloody Mary that came "spicy," had my mouth happily ablaze. I loved how the patty seemed to nestle effortlessly into the bun, as though they were made for each other. Delicious!

Price Hill Chili

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Denise!


the patty 5
the bun 6.7
the fixin's 6.6
the sides 6.2
total package 5.6

accessibility 8.3
the service 3.8
cleanliness 7.2
the price 7.3
"it" factor 5.1

TOTAL 65



CIRQUE TEAM
Located on the city's west side (Map It!), Price Hill Chili has become an iconic fixture in Cincinnati's history. Admittedly, PHC is not well-known for its burgers, which we learned during our visit. Prices are definitely cheap - a burger for under five bucks, but sometimes you get what you pay for. We recommend breakfast or its signature chili, but its burgers are best left in the freezer. As you will read below, we also had a pretty rough service experience, but it all seemed to add to the Westside lore.

STEVE
Visiting Price Hill Chili was like having sex with a modern-day Bo Derek. The experience was pretty cool, and you want to tell all of your friends about it...but an hour after you leave, your stomach starts to hurt and you realize the hype was better than the actual product. The burger was ok. The fries covered in chili and cheese were ok. Everything was ok, but you're still glad you experienced a Cincinnati tradition.

JASON
PHC has long been one of my favorite places to grab lunch in Cincinnati. Most of the things I have tried there have been great (especially the turkey grilled cheese and chili cheese fries), so I was excited for our PHC tour stop. My burger was pretty good for a place that is known for their chili and breakfast, and the chili fries were awesome (as usual). Some of the crew had trouble with service, but mine was fine. I love the atmosphere at PHC, as it is chock full of 'Nati sports memorabilia. While I’m sure I’ll trek over to the Westside to eat at PHC many more times in the future, I’m not sure that I’ll be ordering the burger again.

LIZ
Price Hill Chili was a stop on the burger tour I wouldn't want to repeat. I didn't even finish it! My burger was overcooked, not cooked the way I ordered it, and our waitress offered a quick "sorry" rather than correcting the kitchen's mistake. While I certainly understand the difficulty of serving 12 people (all ordering burgers no less!), to say I was disappointed in the customer service would be an understatement. I thought maybe the chili cheese fries would redeem the place, but alas, they were soggy and bland. Maybe Price Hill Chili is better suited for eggs, bacon and toast; not bacon, ground beef and a bun.

CHRIS
I guess the name says it all. Price Hill Chili has good chili. They make a mediocre burger at best. Mine actually came with all condiments just as ordered (unlike some). Obviously frozen patty. Cheese wasn't great. Bacon was a little rubbery. If it weren't for the chili cheese fries, I would have been fairly displeased with the whole experience. I would go back to PHC for the chili. But definitely not for a burger, sorry.

EMILY
PHC is a great maze of rooms and families getting their eat on! This is obviously a place to meet and have time with those you love. The food is good, diner style fare. I don't think the patty was fresh but it was cooked well. The fixings were great! Fresh veggies and crisp bacon...who could ask for more! While PHC isn't known for its burgers, I think it still held its own!

BRAD
I guess judging the PHC experience based on its burgers would be like judging Michael Jordan's athletic ability based on his baseball career. It's a chili parlor that delivers on tasty chili. I got a cup of it and poured it all over my burger. Yummo. Take a field trip to the Weirdside for a saltier, sweeter version of Skyline.

JANA
Price Hill looks incredible for breakfast (although I don't know that) but there specialty is NOT a burger! Keep looking.

LEAH
Ordering the bacon on my burger extra crispy made for a delightful, but not phenomenal burger. Unlike some of my Cirque friends, my order was correct, my drink and food came in a reasonable amount of time, and the food was good. If I'm ever on the Westside again, I would stop by PHC for some breakfast.

CHAD
We may have to create a new score for PHC; I don't think that "Sondra" quite covers it. "Cousin Pam's Hairy Upper Lip" may be more appropriate. Poor service happens sometimes, I understand. But this was not just a case of poor service, this was unashamed and unapologetically BAD service. I'm talking 'you'll get your drink when I damn well feel like it if at all' bad. For the sake of brevity, I'll stop there. The food: of what I ordered 50% of the items ever came to the table (yes I asked, twice) but 100% made it to the bill (of course). Of what I received, the food was bad. I ordered a bacon cheese burger with an egg, and the only redeeming quality of the entire meal was the egg. It was cooked to perfection. Kudos to the egg chef; the rest of you are fired. The bacon was fatty and undercooked, and the patty was straight from the McDonald's playbook. I wont be going back to Price Hill Chili and I would recommend that you steer clear whenever possible.

JUSTIN
Well, our first trip to the Westside was very memorable, unfortunately it was memorable for all the wrong reasons. I actually had high hopes for the joint when we walked up to the building. The place was packed. Thanks to NM^3 we had reservations. The highlight for me was the wait staff's lack of interest. It was actually amusing. Head to Price Hill Chili for breakfast I guess, cause their burger ain't worth a damn. If I venture back into the maze they call the "Westside" it'll be to catch a panther football game or drive-thru Trotta's for a dynamite pizza, not a PHC burger.

ALLIE
As an Eastsider who has lived most of my 26 years in Cincinnati, this was my first trip to Price Hill Chili. We'll see how many times I make it over to the Westside to visit their establishment in my next 26 years. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say that it won't be much because our experience there was wrought with mistakes. The high point of the burger was the bun, but I was too busy being concerned that everyone had a plate in front of them, let alone their correct order, to really enjoy the burger. I did really love the sunny, glass enclosed patio where we sat and the thought that I was broadening my horizons by visiting the Westside, but that was about it.

NICOLE
I enjoyed my burger, but I don't think PHC is known for it. If I ever go back, I think it will be for breakfast, not burgers. And definitely not the stellar service.

Gordo's Pub & Grill

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Theo!


the patty 7.9
the bun 7.9
the fixin's 9.2
the sides 6.9
total package 8.1

accessibility 9.6
the service 8.2
cleanliness 7.5
the price 8.7
"it" factor 7.6

TOTAL 83



CIRQUE TEAM
Gordo's is located right off of Montgomery Road in the heart of Norwood (Map It!). The burger patties are seasoned, the variety is excellent (Jean Robert, Hawaiian, Gordo's, etcetera), and the staff was friendly. Those of us without a cold seemed to notice the aroma of sewage outside, but the atmosphere inside made up for it. You can get a burger and fries for under eight dollars, so the price is worth the trip. Opinions varied (from excellent to average), and the fries were nothing to write home about, but overall, Gordo's is a burger joint worth experiencing.

BRAD
I believe Gordo's, with the chef's connections to the infamous Jean Robert, provides the best gourmet burger in town.. The Jean Robert has goat cheese, blue cheese, bacon and grape compote. Fuggetabout it. Uniquely delicious. The other burgers are better than average but not great like the J.R. Goat cheese + Hudy Delight. Norwood chic.

JUSTIN
Okay, here's the deal...I had a mediocre experience at Gordo's the last time and I went into this with a chip on my shoulder. I am glad to report that this time around was better, still not worthy of Jean Robert's accolades, but a solid burger. The toppings are phenomenal. A flavor explosion that meshes with the well cooked burger. Personal preference...I like more of a patty than a baseball. I have to mention the distinct smell of sewer as you get to the door at Gordo's, might want to have that looked at. No Bloody's on a Sunday morn!!??!! Sacrilege.

CHAD
Good, average place. Nothing to write home about, but solid. I'll go back. My only gripes were that a) they didn't have any Bloody Mary Mix (thankfully Jason ran to Kroger really quick) and b) it smelled like someone forgot to mop up after a big Saturday night.

LEAH
As far as gourmet burgers are concerned, I am hard pressed to believe that Gordo's could be beat. Their Jean Robert Burger is UH-Mazing...I'm a fan of any place that is bold enough to top a burger with grape compote.

CHRIS
Gordo's is the ultimate diamond in the rough. No offense to Norwoodians, but I never expected such a great burger in such a not so great location. I wouldn't vacation in Norwood but I would definitely go out of my way for the Gordo's namesake burger. Thick patty, bacon, boursin cheese. You can't go wrong.

LIZ
Looking for a big burger? Gordo's has it. All their burgers are half pound size. The atmosphere at Gordo's is a mix between cozy and hip. Though the texture of the patty was a big tough (perhaps too much "packing" of the burger meat), the flavor was one of the best I have eaten. They know how to season their meat! I got the Blackened Burger which came "blackened" (seasoned but not spicy) and was topped with bacon and blue cheese - a little different than the typical cheese and ketchup burger. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Although my french fries were undercooked and rather bland, the star of the show is the flavorful half pound burger - and it lived up to its expectations.

JANA
The key to Gordo's is to go with a friend, get two burgers and split. That way you get to really appreciate what they offer. Gordo's offers something a little different for the meat lover - and they don't go wrong. Check out the Jean Robert burger with grape and onion compote, goat cheese and bacon mixed in the patty - or the Hawaiian. You'll be glad you did.

JASON
Good burgers, okay fries, great toppings. Thankfully Kroger is just a block or so away, because apparently Gordo’s is B.Y.O.B.M.M.



EMILY
It's easy to get a good vibe as you walk into Gordo's! The decor is fun and the bar makes you want to have a seat. But I have to say I don't get goose bumps when I think of going back. I blame the patty. It tasted like and looked like meat loaf. It just isn't the simple, delicious, red meat that I am looking for. The search continues!

STEVE
Gordo's was a nice surprise. I wasn't expecting much, but I loved the flavor of the burger - great seasoning. There isn't much that would get me into Norwood, but Gordo's is worth the trip.

Mt. Adams Bar & Grill

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Rudy!


the patty 9.2
the bun 8.4
the fixin's 9.1
the sides 8.6
total package 9.2

accessibility 8.7
the service 9.1
cleanliness 9.0
the price 8.8
"it" factor 9.0

TOTAL 91



CIRQUE TEAM
Mt. Adams Bar & Grill (Map It!) serves an amazing burger and offers a great atmosphere. Parking in Mt. Adams is always an issue, so practice your parallel parking skills before making the trip. The restaurant is always clean, the service is friendly, and the neighborhood feels like a small town in the middle of a big city. Considering the area, it's a nice surprise to get a basic burger and fries for under ten dollars. Our first Rudy!

JUSTIN
Snoop Doggy Dog may have said it best when he scribed the lyrics, "Perfection is perfected, so I'm a let 'em understand." Mt. Adams Bar & Grill is the proverbial "shizzle." The closest to perfection that we have experienced. The decent Bloody Mary was the low-point of the meal, that says a lot. Loved it.

STEVE
In my book, Mt. Adams Bar & Grill is as good as it gets. Their double cheeseburger is perfection on a bun. I can't explain why it works so well, but the ratio of meat to cheese is perfect, and the burger's flavor is divine. It will always be a Rudy in my book.

CHRIS
Mt. Adams isn't exactly the most convenient spot, but the charm and ambiance of the area more than make up for that. You can't help but feel like you're sitting in the very seat that many a passing though celebrity probably sat in to catch a drink or chow on a burger before jet-setting off to somewhere. The burgers were above average in every category. Big, juicy and cooked perfectly to order. The best burger I've eaten, no. But quaintness and charm go a long way.

LEAH
A burger with a fried egg on top? Yes, please! I'm not sure that burgers in Cincinnati get any better than they are at Mt. Adams Bar & Grill. Great atmosphere, great location, GREAT food.

EMILY
This burger was beautiful. It stayed together until the last bite, AND it was delicious! The history of the place is cool but it didn't blow me away with an amazing ambiance. But who cares when you have such a yummy patty in your mouth?!

JANA
I feel like Mt. Adams Bar & Grill could make vegetarians love hamburgers. It was beyond incredible. The double with monterey jack and bacon is the way to go. The only thing that I could even begin to say was wrong was that my bun was a LITTLE soggy. But a minimally soggy bun and hard to find parking is more than worth the amazingness that will go into your mouth.

JASON
With all the guns, knives and lighters on the walls, I had a feeling I was in for some good red meat. I was right. The burger was amazing. It had great flavor, was a good size and wasn’t too sloppy.

ALLIE
Mt. Adams Bar & Grill was a great stop on the meat train. Very cool atmosphere, I loved the old bar look with dark wood and zippos lining the wall. Our server Mary was awesome, very funny and attentive. The fries were a highlight, though not fresh, they were very crispy on the outside with soft potatoey goodness inside. The only part that left me wanting more was the salsa that topped my burger, it was neither plentiful nor flavorful. And what was with the cups and cups of straws lining the table?

BRAD
Get the Famous (quarter pounder w/ salsa and cheese) add some bacon and a fried egg. Hoo boy....heaven 'tween two buns. This place is the real deal, friends. Run, don't walk there.

NICOLE
Mt. Adams Bar & Grill's burgers were AWESOME!! I just had the classic and it was a near perfect burger. If you want to get a little crazy I had a bite of my husbands burger which had an egg and bacon on it and it was like a party in my mouth!!!

LIZ
One of my favorite places in Cincinnati, Mt. Adams Bar & Grill is the perfect place to gather with friends and eat a delicious burger. The atmosphere is cozy and surprisingly unpretentious, given its location, and the burgers are cooked just right - with whatever toppings your heart desires, including a fried egg! Love it. I think it will be impossible to beat.

CHAD
Aside from the wimpy Bloody Mary, this place is awesome on all counts. Any time I have the opportunity to answer the question, "Would you like to add a fried egg to that double cheese burger?" I'm instantly feeling optimistic about the meal. I was not let down. Go to Mt. Adams Bar and Grill and eat. You will be glad that you did.

Fatburger

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Denise!


the patty 5.6
the bun 5.3
the fixin's 6.0
the sides 5.7
total package 5.5

accessibility 7.6
the service 6.5
cleanliness 7.3
the price 6.9
"it" factor 3.6

TOTAL 64



CIRQUE TEAM
Located in Oakley, Fatburger (Map It!) has migrated its way east from California. Let's be clear - this is fast food, but clearly a step up from most typical fast food joints. Its lot made parking easy; the wait was brief, and the price was cheap - burger and fries were around eight bucks. If you're looking for a quick meal to fulfill a burger craving, look no further. If you're looking for the best burger in Cincinnati, this isn't the place.

JASON
In my opinion, Fatburger has the best fast food burger in Cincinnati. The beef and veggies were fresh, and the steak fries were tasty. At the end of the day, good fast food is still fast food. Like my grandpa told me one time when he saw me in a tux, “You can’t polish a turd.”

CHRIS
Fatburger is pretty much what I expected out of a semi-fast food chain. The burgers were pretty average in size and equally average in taste. The ease and convenience are definitely a plus. Overall, Fatburger was fairly underwhelming. No bells, no whistles. Just fat and burgers.

BRAD
Fatburger is slow fast food. Save your money and go to BK.


LEAH
Fatburger falls somewhere between fast food and diner food; however, it more closely resembles fast food. For a fast food burger, it is great and highly recommended. If you're looking for something more, Fatburger isn't for you.

LIZ
Fatburger is a tasty break from traditional, frozen-patty fast food chains. A worker confirmed for us the patties are fresh and handmade. However, it doesn't really compare to sit-down burger experience. Overall, the burger was on the thin (as opposed to fat) side, and the fries were just ok - similar to what you'd get from the freezer section at Kroger. I happened to really like that they had fresh-made lemonade and iced tea - which I love to mix together. Other than that, I'd say Fatburger is a notch or two above Wendy's (my personal favorite fast food restaurant).

STEVE
Fatburger is what it is - a pretty good burger, but nothing special. It is better than fast food, but probably won't be able to compete with most of our stops on the tour. One thing - do not get the small burger. It is about the size of a silver dollar.

CHAD
When I got my Fatburger I was pretty disappointed by the size. It wasn't that fat at all. The taste was pretty good, but all in all it was just fast food.

EMILY
Great for fast food. I expected something greasy and "fast foodish" but it was freshly made, the bun wasn't soaked with grease, the condiments were fresh and the steak fries were crispy. Definitely a good quick burger.

JANA
Fatburger was fine. That's really all you can say about it. It wasn't bad; it wasn't amazing. If you're wanting a better burger than McDonald's, hit it up. But if you're wanting something mouthwatering and monumental, keep driving!

ALLIE
Fatburger is a fast food place hands down. Keeping that in mind, it was a tasty burger, but I wouldn't seek it out. As a side note, I have learned that I do love pickles on my burger!

Arthur's Cafe

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Vanessa!


the patty 7.0
the bun 6.4
the fixin's 8.1
the sides 6.9
total package 7.3

accessibility 7.7
the service 8.5
cleanliness 9.0
the price 8.6
"it" factor 7.4

TOTAL 79



CIRQUE TEAM
The first thing that stands out about Arthur’s (Map It!) is “Burger Madness.” On Sundays, Mondays, and Tuesdays, you can get a burger (with your choice of unlimited fixin’s) and fries for seven bucks! The restaurant is clean and well-maintained, and the service was friendly. Beware of the burger’s inconsistency – some were undercooked, some were overcooked, and a few were just right. During warm weather, be sure to check out the patio!

JASON
Arthur’s is a cool spot. They brought me a tiny beer with my Bloody Mary, so, right off the bat, they were on my good side. The burger was good, though a little undercooked. The bun was huge, and the fries were slightly above average. The Bloody was pretty tame for my taste, but it was good once I spiced it up a bit. The service was fast and friendly. The atmosphere is welcoming and relaxing. While I like Arthur’s, and will definitely return, the burger kind of seemed like Rudy was running the grill instead of Cliff.

EMILY
Arthur's has the feel like you could party at the bar or have a nice dinner for two. It's casual and the service was really good, quickly fixing some mistakes and being very friendly. My burger was tasty, even though some would say it was too raw...I loved it!

NICOLE
I love Arthur's, but more for the atmosphere than for the food. I had the Pepper Jack burger, which was slightly overcooked. It was a decent pub burger, but nothing to rave about.

JUSTIN
For the record, I am a big fan of Arthur's, and have been going there for over seven years now. Unfortunately, the Burger Madness was a disappointment. I have had the burger in the past (once I think), and perhaps I had imbibed too many adult beverages prior to the tasting, but I was unpleasantly surprised by my return to that option of the menu. My burger was cooked correctly (unlike some of Cirque's members) and the topping selection was solid. It was by no means inedible, but did not knock my socks off either. The restaurant is awesome, great patio, good bar, solid Bloody Mary (with the little beer chaser...bonus!), and many other great options. That said, if you are looking for a bad-ass burger...keep movin'.

ALLIE
Arthur's will always be a place for drinks and not so much the burgers. I will second guess my burger ordering temperature from this experience. Normally, as a self-proclaimed omnivore, I love a good medium-rare steak, but my burger I prefer a bit more done. I ordered mine medium and it came out very RAW; the dang thing hardly kept it's form. I will give them the credit that it was a very busy day so they're trying to crank out the burgers, but c'mon, we're not just ANYONE here! I have to give our server credit, as well as the rest of the support staff, they fulfilled all of our needs; it was the kitchen that fell short. They do have a great deal with the unlimited toppings of "Burger Madness," but what is a burger without a good patty? Might as well have a veggie burger, and I wouldn't prefer that in my mouth!

LIZ
Arthur's is a very comfortable place. It was surprisingly easy to get seating for ten and the service was excellent. A few people had issues with undercooked meat, but the staff was glad to cure the issue. The Burger Madness (any toppings you want for no additional charge) is sweet - particularly if you like a lot of toppings on your burger. The bun was a little soggy, and the "double bacon" I ordered for my burger felt more like a single serving, but overall Arthur's cozy atmosphere is a great place to eat a delicious burger with friends.

CHAD
I love Arthur's. This is the kind of place that you'd take your parents for a casual dinner, but then go back four hours later to hook up with friends. Versatile. You can't miss the outdated caricature mural of Cincinnatians. I'm not sure if we're supposed to know who all of the people are, or if they're just the good regulars from over the years...Sometimes you wanna go, where everybody knows your name (because there's a funny picture of you on the wall with your name on it). Classic is different than old right? This place is classic. So how many burgers do I have to eat to get my mug painted into the mural? Hey artist guy, put a Bloody Mary in one hand, and a big fat burger in the other.

STEVE
I was impressed with Burger Madness - a quality burger and fries for seven bucks is hard to beat. There wasn't anything memorable about the burger, but Arthur's is a great place to relax with friends and have a good time.

JANA
Although other Cirque members had issues at Arthur's, this place ranks among the top for me. My burger with Gorgonzola cheese was cooked perfectly and the bacon was perfectly crisp. The $3 cosmos might have dampened my memory and affected my taste buds, but Burger Madness will be hard to beat.

Terry's Turf Club

CIRQUE SAYS...

The Theo!


the patty 8.8
the bun 8.3
the fixin's 9.4
the sides 8.1
total package 8.6

accessibility 6.8
the service 7.8
cleanliness 7.4
the price 9.0
"it" factor 9.3

TOTAL 85



CIRQUE TEAM
Located in the East End of Cincinnati, Terry's Turf Club (Map It!) serves up quality burgers and unique ambiance. The most notable feature is the neon lights that completely illuminate the interior of the restaurant. When crowded, space is cramped and it may take a while to be seated. But once you have a table, the servers are friendly, the burgers are tasty, and the price is right. A basic burger begins around six dollars, and goes up when fixin's, sides, and drinks are added.

BRAD
Terry's is our Plymouth Rock. The birthplace of our burger pilgrimage. Best moment for me: Jason saying the Bloody Mary was like a party in his mouth - a kick-boxing party. The atmosphere is like an Appalachian Las Vegas. It's claustrophobic (in an energizing way), lit entirely by neon beer signs and full of blue collar meat lovers.

NICOLE
Intimidating for first-timers, but you feel much more comfortable by the time some other poor souls walk in the door and look more lost than you did.

CHAD
Awesome decor. Great neon's, coolers, and memorabilia. Lots of character. Terry's is a great place for Type A's who don't mind getting aggressive at the bar, cramped quarters, using a doorless bathroom, and a healthy wait. I happened to love it.

STEVE
I felt like I was transported back to 1950 - if 1950 was illuminated by a neon sun. The ambiance was excellent and the burger was delicious. Space is a little tight, but it only adds to the small-town feel.


LEAH
Terry's made me want to go back the next day and have another burger...this time with the goat cheese. I loved the option to get foie gras on your burger in a comfortable and casual burger joint. The buttery bun changed my view of hamburger buns forever.

JANA
Terry's makes me feel like I am at Myrtle Beach. I love the Christmas lights in June and I love the busyness of the place. I love being able to throw peanut shells on the floor and pop the nuts in my mouth. This place has all you'd hope for and more in a burger...interesting toppings, great martinis, and perfect juiciness. Close to the best in Cincinnati.

JASON
Terry's has a good freakin' burger. While I'm not ready to say it's the best in the 'Nati, it's definitely up there. With all due respect, Cirque was born while we were sitting around chewing on Terry's juicy burgers. I love the neon everywhere; I love the peanuts; the Bloody Mary was like a nice, swift kick in the nuts and the fries are almost perfect. If I had one complaint, the burger is a bit messy. Its massive size and juiciness make it a little hard to handle. Sometimes more than a handful is a waste.

EMILY
All I can say is I love the neon lights, I love the out of control amount of horseradish in the Bloody Marys, I wouldn't change the fries at all...they are incredible, and I love the bead screen for the men's bathroom door! They should rename the restaurant, "'The Incredible' Terry's Turf Club."

JUSTIN
Anyone walking in can tell immediately they serve a superb product, and judging by all the plates, that product is the burger. I had the run-of-the-mill burger as far as Terry's was concerned, nothing too wild (something I regret). There was not a plethora of toppings available but there were some fantastic choices. At the last minute I talked myself out of the foie gras/crab meat/$11 ounce of pancetta (straight from the boot) burger. Ambiance was great, Bloody Mary was top-notch, great beer selection, superb grilled bun, and an awesome machete they loan you to cut the monster burger. Excellent.

LIZ
Terry's is the quintessential burger joint - all aglow with only neon lights. While their menu contains a few other options, it is basically devoted to the burger. The bacon was plentiful - thick, but crisp. Perhaps the best treat was the french fries, obviously fresh cut from a real potato - not frozen from a processed potato. The burger was quite tall, making it a bit difficult to get one's mouth around, but the taste made up for any awkwardness in bite. The burger was juicy, cooked just right to order, and well-seasoned. All in all, Terry's exceeded the high expectations I had for it and the casual atmosphere - best illustrated by its peanut shell covered floor - made eating the delicious burger even more enjoyable.

CHRIS
Terry's is a virtual Cincinnati Neon-derthal. It's old school appearance is deceiving. Converted from an old "gun and knife bar" this place is now an amazing place to grab a burger. Neon everywhere. Servers that remember your name. Toppings like goat cheese, foie gras, and crabmeat. How can you go wrong? Very good burger!