Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Five Guys Burgers and Fries


The Theo!

the patty 8.2
the bun 8.2
the fixin's 9.2
the sides 9.3
total package 8.6

accessibility 8.4
the service 7.8
cleanliness 8.4
the price 8.4
"it" factor 7.9


Five Guys is definitely not your typical chain burger joint. The meat is fresh, not frozen. The fries are cut daily in the restaurant. And the free peanuts add to the great ambiance. Cincinnati is lucky to finally get one of these very popular establishments. Located near the University of Cincinnati (Map It!), hungry college students will likely swarm the place before and after class. Beware, the regular burger is actually a double, and the portion of fries is insane. A large order is enough to feed a basketball team. The menu is simple, but delicious. Definitely worth a stop.

I LOVE Five Guys. I was shaking with excitement when I realized that they were coming to Clifton AND there is rumor that they are coming to other places in Cincy soon (Kenwood and West Chester)! I think they are the best "fast food" burger out there. The patty is well done (which I would never order personally) but I think it is what makes it great and all juicy. The toppings are fresh and mix together perfectly. The portions are huge (which is awesome) and you will literally be stuffed all day. Cajun, fresh cut fries, are the way to go. I would go to Five Guys every day if it wouldn't mean I would end up in Supersize Me 2.

I imagine it went down like this for this Washington D.C. establishment. Guy 1 worked for Jimmy Carter. But not in politics, peanuts. Guy 2 had a cow that local high schools used for that raffle where you pick a plot and wherever said cow craps you win cash. Guy 3 really bought into McCarthyism and was scared to death of pinko commis. So he had a bomb shelter full of potatoes and ketchup. Guys 4 and 5 were brothers and record collectors. They dreamed of spinning wax on AM radio. So, one day, these 5 guys ran into each other in front of the Washington Monument protesting something or other. They get to talking about dreams and skills and boom, the rest is history. Good burgers, fries, peanuts and tunes. Worth a trip down to Clifton.

I'm struggling with how to classify Five Guys. To lump it in with Wendy's or McDonald's would be a travesty. It is definitely not a run-of-the-mill fast food joint. I would also hesitate to put it in the same class as Terry's or Zip's. It's somewhere in the middle. The menu is simple, but thankfully you still have a lot of topping choices. The patty is cooked to well done, and draped in American cheese. The fresh jalapeno adds kick like a slapped donkey. The cajun fries would have Paul Prudhomme speaking in tongues. I would recommend Five Guys to anyone looking for a quick and delicious burger without the frills. Judging by their growth, you should have one in your neck of the woods soon. Hit it up...cajun fries and double jalapeno cheeseburger.

For a fast foodish burger, I'm quite certain it doesn't get better than Five Guys. Downside- no Bloody Marys. Upside- incredible music, really good food, and plenty of seating to fit large parties. I'll be heading back for sure.

For the first time on tour, less than a week after I ate a burger, I was craving it again. I'm not saying it's the best burger in Cincinnati, because it's not. But the burger and fries combined were quite and experience, all for a pretty reasonable price (considering the portions). Thank God it's located right next to UC's campus. I'll be back for more in the Fall.

The "little" burger I got was not little at all and it was ridiculously good. Pair it with the generously portioned and amazingly tasty fresh cut fries and you'll be full for days! Besides the cold and corporate decor, I really enjoyed Five Guys!

I once went to Five Guys in DC when I was a kid, and was left a lingering memory of a massive and flavorful burger that was before its time. Much like an episode from my youth when I got my hands on a bottle of Patron, as a young burger lover I really had no idea how to appreciate the experience. So when I heard that Five Guys was coming to Cincinnati, it was a given that we would make it a stop on the tour. This time I tackled Five Guys with an empty stomach and a mature palette. It was awesome. Think Penn Station, but with Burgers (and the fries are way better). Some may want to jump on the bandwagon based solely on the numerous awards and articles hanging on the walls, but if you're a true burger lover you owe it to yourself to beat a path to Five Guys and give them a go. My only gripe is that they are a chain. I don't like chains. I like locally or family owned places with history and style. For this burger, I'll make an exception and condone a chain restaurant.

Five Guys has the perfect fries! I loved my fixings, lots of bacon on the bottom, two perfect tomato slices. Definitely a solid burger and they should sell their soundtrack... they were killin it!

Five Guys is definitely a "guys'" place. The portions are huge. A large serving of fries actually comes in a huge paper bag! But, the food does not disappoint. They do one thing - burgers - and they do it very well. It was delicious and I really enjoyed eating peanuts while I waited! (It didn't hurt that Steve and I were enjoying these tasty burgers while vacationing in the Outer Banks.)

Somebody wrote on the comment board in the back of the Clifton Five Guys, “These burgers are aggressive!” I couldn’t agree more. I felt like, at any second, the grease dripping out of the back of my burger was going to turn in to a little fist and upper cut me in the neck. The burger was great, but the double was a little much. I’ll do the “little” next time (it’s a single compared to the standard double). The fries were my favorite of the tour. What does Five Guys and Joe Biden have in common? If they're good enough for Barack, they're good enough for me.


  1. That picture is amazing. It was great being in line behind Barack!

  2. Checked out Five Guys today and was pleasantly surprised. It was very hectic and didn't expect to wait 15 minutes for a burger but it was damn good. The cajun fries are money in the bank. I'll be going back for sure.

  3. Janaet Frame8/7/10, 12:14 AM

    Hi there. It is 12:04 AM here in Forest Park, Ohio. I just wanted to say, I have read your comments on Five Guys and I am impressed on what I have heard. I will be going there later today. There is one in Mason, Ohio, which is about 15 mins. from me. I was told by daugheter, that the burgers were super and the fries are to die for. Also, now that I know President Obama likes Five Guys, that all the more reason for me to check it out. I truly love a good hamburger. When I was a teen, I use to eat burgers from everywhere trying to find that special taste. The one burger that use to be the greatest was the Friches Big Boy. What Happen to it? Did they change the sauce or what? Thanks again for suggestion.